Backing tracks

For the last couple of weeks I've been craving new music. Seems like my old stash ran out. Something ballsy, tough. Manly. With a heavy beat, dirty strings and an dudy singing about epic stuff. Earlier today I got to wondering why. Why I've been craving it so badly. Seems that I've stopped being able to get hyped er excited about anything. Sure, I can recognize that something's neat or cool, brilliant or even amazing. But I don't get infatuated with anything anymore. I can't fall in love with it anymore. Which is reflective of how I feel about my own music. I've stopped feeling it. Reminds me of when I was in my teens and how I'd wish that certain "scenes" of my life, present and past, had a beautiful backing track to them. Like a well put together movie scene! To emphasize the passion, the vivacious and heart-wrenching beauty and despair of the ups and downs. I've come to realise (not peace) with life being a string of more or less dull moments that I seem somewhat detached from. Life does not have a backing track. But it is supposed to be engulfing anyways, right?